How the brilliant and ingenious Dr Drakken got together with Kp
by SomecallmeMichelle
Summary: Drakken narrates the story of how he got Kim, though, this being Drakken, he gets off track, often. Much to Shego and Ron's dismay. Mostly a comedic oneshot, but I guess it could be considered romance? Pairing is (DRAKKIM).


"I don't know, Dr D, I don't think the random people around the street will care much for our life story!"

"Nonsense buff….herm Ron" - Drakken had to remind himself not to rant at him, at least yet. he

was right! He was always right, the buffoon, was never right, why give him the satisfaction?" -

"Everyone would be interested in hearing the tale of Dr Drakken! Besides, Kim beat me 14 times at this game, already, so I'm bored!" - His voice turned into a whine.

"I can't go anywhere with you, first you start playing games, then you ignore the conversation, and now you're going to embarrass every single one of us. I swear if Cupcakes was here she'd stop you"

"Well she went out to pay...so…"

Shego, sighed, but she figured that stopping Drakken would be impossible, whenever he got an idea like that, he was unstoppable.

"And I'll do it in the best person, no, not Drakken person, third person!"

He cleared his throat, and pressed a button at his lapel,his voice became ,technologically enhanced. He started his talk.

Dr Drakken, PHD, only not, technically, as he had led himself out, as he didn't like to be reminded of, couldn't believe his eyes. It was their 14th match, and still he had lost! He, Dr drew Lipsky, the super villain that the entire world had grown to fear, he who inspired the shivers in all the people who even dare look at his face. But he wouldn't stop himself! He would make them bow before him, because, while Momma Lipsky had made it perfectly clear she didn't particularly approve of this particular endeavor of Lipsky, villain, scientist, and total genius. He didn't care...though one should always respect their mother, especially if their mother is as good as Momma Lipsky, she makes good grub. Cookies, always warm, and they're chocolate! Ooh!

Ahem! But anyway,this defeats at the ends of one very lovely, and very very talented Miss Possible, as much as it pains the narrator to say it...was where we begin the story, though really we could have begun in any number of instances where Miss Possible defeated the brilliant, young, handsome, and totally hip, Dr Drakken. But I don't like to talk about those times! Wh...why? It doesn't matter! I am the narrator, let me narrate the story! So this 14th defeat, which was, utterly embarrassing, the marvelous, utterly evil, and, did I use brilliant yet? You know what it doesn't even matter, it's true even if I already said it, and the utterly brilliant Dr, though as you know, not PHD. for...reasons...that really aren't important right now! But yes, the totally evil doctor, and I'm starting to sound like my co…like Motor Ed here, lost it. He did a very dignified dance, which was actually, and you may not know this, not a whimper of defeat and a tantrum, but an ancient summoning of gaming skills that surged through tiny Drew's body. Well...not so tiny, he might be young, but videogames are younger.

No, no, Drakken isn't an old man, shut up! I'm telling the story just the way it is, stop adding stuff! Hnnng! Do I have to summon the bee gun? Or the Diablo toys? Or the Vine plants? Yes? Intimidated yet? Don't worry nothing will happen if you don't keep insulting the utterly ingenious doc, and of course, the best girl ever, Miss Possible. Trust the wonderful narrator….the only character in this story that deserves hatred is the utter moron that is the buffon….but you might better know him as "Ron Stoppable".

Oh, oh, oh, Stoppable was right in his name, and appropriate it was, It's my job as the narrator to remember all the character names of this story, and I li...I mean, I know them personally, might I add that Dr Drakken is as handsome as they say...the blue...it adds. The cameras lie to you, he didn't put on weight! But Ron? He's really as freckled as they say! Look at the paleness! Freaky isn't it? But to be honest that was the only thing of distinction for him, if I hadn't had to memorise his name for the sake of my girlfriend, and this plot, I would never remember it. He was, and still is a buffoon.

You must, of course, know of the great feats achieved by Dr Drakken. What's that you say? He had no feats? He was stopped every single time by Miss Possible? Why you little v….ahem, yes, Dr Drakken had little success as a villain, I'll admit, which was, somewhat of an embarrassment, seeing as he was, and still is the greatest scientific genius in the world! James Possible and Dementor be screwed. But he did save the world once or twice, along with trusty sid...I'm getting a look that tells me that I really should consider my words, along with trusted partner, Shego. Who had the brawns, but not the brains.

What's that? I've been reminded that Shego has a university degree, she is fit to teach high school students, something that Dr Drakken I so much admire didn't have, and that I can shove my stupid words right up my….oh golly. Also I think I may have made a critical tactical mistake. She's lighting up her hands and….

Oooooh sweet momma Lipsky! I had forgotten how much that stung. Shego really knows how to put it. Dang it Shego! Alright, I'll tell them the truth! Your truth.

Why are you laughing? It's not that funny? Shego will you burn off their bums for laughing at me? No! Argh! C'mon Shego you used to be a super villainess.

Shego was giving the narrator another look, and the few people who had stopped looked, eagerly waiting for, perhaps, another burning, well, that wasn't going to happen, because this narrator knows Shego, and a way to get on her good side.

"I'll pay you extra if you don't burn me"

The narrator saw Shego's eyes gleam at the prospect of the extra money...there goes the money the narrator was saving for the the game sales that were coming in a few weeks. But it'd all be worth it to stop his hide from getting tanned.

What! The crowd let out a sigh of disappointment! Fear not. I shall entertain with further story! No! Don't leave! Don't you wanna hear about the genius of Dr Drakken?

"Face it, doc, your tale got old, real fast."

"Can it buffoon! At least I got a story! What do you have to say for yourself? I work at smarty mart?"

"Hey I could have spent my 99 million if someone…" - Ron murmured Drakken's name, but it was obvious to anyone who it had been. - "Hadn't stolen them, and at least I have a job!" - The two of them pressed their faces against one another, sneering at one another. Drakken might be part of Ron's group, but they still weren't friends.

Herm, as I said, the buffoon is a simpleton, and Dr Drakken should learn to ignore him. Though the biggest genius often deal with the biggest annoyances, in fact Dr. Drakken wouldn't even deal with the annoyance of such an incompetent buffoon if it weren't for the fact that it was a requisite for dating Miss Possible.

"Here we go with the lovey dovey stuff"

"Quiet Shego!"

Dr Drakken didn't realise when he had fallen for her, how could such genius fall for such mediocrity, that was what he thought, at first….

"That's why we kicked your butt!"

"I swear buffoon!"

"Sorry!"

But, as time passed, he couldn't help but be attracted to her, she was athletic, she was smart, she was witty, she was like those comic book super heroes, Dr Drakken had read about so much as a teen. Truth, it was often less silly when it was all his hard and genius work being flushed down the toilet, as it was evil...but Dr Drakken didn't particularly care if one or two plans failed if it meant he could see her again.

She harbored a terrible hatred for him though, one that couldn't be explained, sure he had tried to take over, and occasionally destroy the world, Every true villain does that! And , formerly Drew Lipsky, legally required to mention that the Dr is not a PHD, grumble grumble, had to do what a villain had to do. He hated the buffoon for spending time with her. After all he was, and still is such a genius! There's no doubt about it, don't roll my eyes at me Shego, you've always done that, why don't you look at me while doing it? Did I offend you? Sorry, sorry, and although m...herm Drakken's plans failed, he was happy.

Well, how could Kimberly Ann Possible not fall for such a clearly perfect human being such as Dr Drakken...hold on Shego is giving me a look that just screams "Really", and I must admit that does sound a bit pompous. Yes, how could Kim Possible not fall for Dr Drakken? That was the question he was asking himself.

Now, she showed up, destroyed his gadget, went away, leaving him doing that previously mentioned dance, and said something like, it was "spanking". What kind of word is "spanking", like really, spanking is only good in bed and ev….oh, c'mon. Don't fake puke me! You vermin!.

It was almost like...and hear me out on this, but it was almost, much to the brilliant Doctor's disbelief and chagrin, she was only doing it to save the world and not to see him. Well, you say, obviously that's the truth and the Doctor is a dumbass for thinking otherwise, but you gotta understand….as much as it pains me to admit...Dr Drakken has never been the most emotionally mature sorta guy, like, he's pretty genius and knows a lot about robotics….and a whole lot about other subjects...which I shall not mention, but women? And emotions...those fickle things aren't for him.

Or, at least weren't, Dr Drakken had to admit, he was in love. And so he had to make the ultimate decision….evil, or miss Possible.

At this point in time he wasn't even sure if Miss Possible would even accept him, and his brilliant mind was aware of that, but the problem was clear, she was good, he was evil, the few times he had saved the world as a good guy, she had gotten close to him...so close, and it felt great. And that's when he became an agent for Global J...oh right you people aren't supposed to know about it. For certain agencies. No! Not the illuminati, what kind of stupid question is that. He became a hero!

Surely, if you don't recognise his feats as the most effective villain of all you recognise them as a hero? No? No? Why am I even telling you this, you are a bunch of ungrateful f...no, I was not going to swear! Kimmy gets all the recognition!

And, eventually, Kimmy started to notice, she thought it was a trick at first, but, the leader of that organization, no, not Bill the triangle, whatever that means, are you guys smoking something? I would too, but I haven't since college...and...I probably shouldn't mention it. But eventually the leader of that organization noticed, and Kimmy and Drakken started hanging out and….well stuff happened. Stuff that is more or less adult rated. Sorry kids.

Now, seriously, Kimmy is taking a long time coming back...I wonder what she's up to.

"Yeah, I bet she could tell a much better story too"

"Got to have to agree with the sidekick here, you spent more time praising yourself, than telling the story, seriously the romance part was like a tenth of the story, and what does losing the game has to have with the rest of it?"

"Everyone's a critic...especially you Shego, you just had to take that literary class in college...which I know I didn't take. Still I suppose you're right...let me finish this up…."

Any questions, after hearing, the brilliant story of the smart Dr Drakken?

A small kid, no bigger than 5 approaches, he had heard the whole story, though Drakken wouldn't believe that he had understood most of his clever and expensive words. Drakken looks at Shego, and smirks, almost as if saying, 'told you so, someone would care'. He pulls Drakken's sleeves and asks.

"Why are you blue? Are you a smurf?"

Drakken couldn't but groan.


End file.
